Okami Deidara
by ZexiZexion
Summary: What happens when Naruto and Okami is combined? Well, Okami Deidara is born! Why Deidara? Why because he has cool hair. And deidara's got to pee.
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER: We do not own Naruto, Okami, or Starbucks. (or rainbow dolphins) This idea is purely fan made, written by ZexiZexion and PockyPuppyOfAkatsuki :D**_

_**A horrible tragedy suddenly swept over the land. However, there was one village that seemed to escape the terrible curse. The tiny settlement of Konoha Village enjoyed the protection of a sacred tree. It is here where the real story begins. **_

**Wood Sprite Iruka **magically descended from the heavens next to the **Okami Deidara** statue.

"How troublesome," Exclaimed Iruka, "This is just like the ancient prophesy of Doooooom!"

"What has transpired to bring about such calamity?" Iruka shook his head in disbelief. "We must act quickly! There is no time to lose!"

"Deidara, now is the time!" Iruka threw a clay pouch at the wolf statue, accidently hitting the statue, knocking off its head. "ACK! I didn't mean to do that! Uh… lets see.." Iruka dug through his purse. "Ah! Super glue!" Iruka glued deidra, er Deidara's head back on and placed the pouch around the wolf's waist.

Deidara emerged with a heroic growl and shook himself, but stopped in mid shake.

"Why the hell does my neck hurt, un?" Deidara said in surprise.

"Ah, such a divine golden light! Such beauty and grace!" Iruka said approvingly.

Deidara stared at him. "Are you hitting on me?"

"NO! just go save the world or whatever!" Iruka started giggling uncontrollably.

"What is this? Has something stolen away in my robe? I don't even have any boobs!"

A little green plant cannibal man thing emerged from the depths of Iruka's chest.

"I'm Zetsu!!!!!" Screamed the dancing plant. "And I'll eat ur babies! Yay!"

Deidara growled at the little plant.

"We're you napping in my boobless chest again, little plant?" Iruka asked.

"I told you not to call me that! I'm a wandering cannibal, sent from the heavens to eat babies!!" Zetsu exclaimed in rage.

"Now, you two team up and, NOT BRITTNEY SPEARS!" Iruka said, quickly changing the song on his ipod.

"Phew, good thing that's over, now, you two team up, and save the world. Now first you must cut down this giant bowl of ramen from this tree!"

"How does ramen grow on trees?" Deidara asked.

"I DON'T GROW THE DAMN RAMEN! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME! I JUST EAT IT!"

"Someone's PMSing." Zetsu said, bouncing on Deidara's head.

"Hey you little punk! Piss off my hair!" Deidara exclaimed, pawing at his head, trying to knock the cannibal off.

"I'm counting on you two!" Iruka said, as he magically disinigrated into the air in the form of tiny rainbow dolphins.

A portal emerged from the large tree in the middle of the clearing.

"Screw that witch, we're goin in that hole!" Zetsu declared.

"Why should I do what you say?" Deidara challenged.

"Uh.. cuz I'm holding Sasori hostage!"

"Danna? Not Sasori! Into the hole we go!" Deidara cried in fear.

**Inside "The Hole" **

Deidara and Lil' Zetsu emerged into a large clearing with grass, wet with dew.

"Ew. Someone peed on the grass!" Lil' Zetsu exclaimed.

"Huh?" Deidara said, squatting over by a bush.

"Ew gross you fleabag!"

"Look! I see a pretty constilation! Can I go pee on it?" Deidara asked, pointing at the starry sky.

"How the hell can you pee on stars?!" Lil' Zetsu asked.

"Well, first you-"

"I didn't mean literally! It was a figure of speech!"

Then Deidara pulled out some clay and molded them into the sky and somehow finished the constipation er, constellation.

A freaking huge Shakaku Dragon thing came down and looked at the two constipated freaks of nature.

"Ah… Why, if it isn't mother Deidara." The Shakaku Dragon started. "I apologize for not contacting you sooner during these long years. Having never forgotten you, I Yomigami, god of restoration, have early awaited this day when we could again meet. While you were away, the 13 spirits of the brush that you once possessed, including myself, have been scattered across this land of men and now lie in disarray.

"I became a constellation and managed to survive until now. The time has come for you to seek out and reunite all the techniques. Your power is what is needed to restore the dried riverbed of the heavens and renew the flow of stardust."

The dragon shakaku thing then turned into an orb with Japanese writing, that us writers can not understand, and Deidara ate it with ramen and could now use the power of Rejuvenation.

Deidara fixed the river of starbucks, er stardust, where beyond there, another door lies.

"I gotta pee!" Screeched Deidara.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: We, ZexiZexion and PockyPuppyOfAkatsuki, do NOT own Naruto or Okami.

Deidara and Lil' Zetsu walked through the door, and Deidara screamed in glee,

"Yay! New places to pee!" Deidara ran over to the nearest tree, and squatted to pee.

"What's with all the rhyming?" Lil' Zetsu said, atop Deidara's head.

"WTF?" They both said.

The two freaks, ran up the stairs that creaked, and entered a cave, that was very deep, and the door shut, with a beep.

"The door beeped?" Asked Deidara, his face masked with grief.

"Why are you so sad?"

"I'm not sad, I'm mad, you took my Sasori-poo hostage."

"I did not, I just wanted a sausage."

"You ate a puppet?"

"No, I ate a crumpet."

"With tea?"

"Yes, it was good." Said Lil' Zetsu in glee.

The two fiends noticed a statue with a missing sword.

"Maybe if I fix it, I'll win an award." Deidara decided.

He used clay to fix the sword, and thought they'd be on their way, when suddenly… A constipation appeared.

"Why, theres a constellation here." Zetsu cheered.

"OKAY OKAY ALL READY! STOP THE RHYMING OR I'LL SHOVE A CACTUS UP YOUR ASS!" DEIDARA SCREAMED!

(okay okay, don't pms over it!)

Deidara made his boom boom clay finish the constilation

"O' Deidara, Origin of all that is good and mother to us all." The freaking two tailed cat mouse started.

"oh no, not all this shit again." Lil' Zetsu said. "I'd rather rhyme again!"

"Oh for the love of God, Zetsu! You're rhyming again!"

"EXCUSE ME!" The fat cat mouse thing said.

Deidara pulled out a cannon, and aimed it at the cat mouse's head. He pulled the trigger, and took his spirit, that made his power that much bigger.

"We're blowin this pocky stand." Exclaimed Deidara with his new Power Slash ability. He cut away the door that went beep, and ran into some anbu, with an eep.

He pulled out some clay, and blew off their heads, and they now lay dead.

"Ha ha, Art's a blast," He said.

Back threw "The Hole"

"Lets cut the ramen!" Said Deidara!

"Or cut the cheese!" Said Zetsu.

"Oh please,"

The ramen was cut, and peace was restored. Or they thought.

"All the people are made of stone!" Said Deidara.

"We should of known!" Zetsu said, "Its probably a cursed zone!"

"There's no sun!"

"Well, lets draw one!"

They went up stairs, to the villages deck, where they drew a sun, and a knew dawn had begun.

(Sorry, it wuz kinda short, and you have to know the game Okami to understand whats going on, but all well. I got slapped a lot in this one, cuz PockyPuppyOfAkatsuki didn't like my rhymes. Well, see ya next time!)


End file.
